won't listen when she speaks, until she can't speak anymore.

won't take you seriously until youre gone.

won't matter until you're just a memory.

and a bad one at that.

the kind that haunts, the kind that makes one cringe.

thats how you'll remember her.

"just nod and agree"

no. don't just nod and agree. you don't like what i'm saying, then speak up. you don't understand what i'm going on about, then fucking ask.

don't just nod and agree.

don't smile when i walk past simply because you think it'll make my day.

don't stop and talk if you've something better to do.

better yet, don't stop and talk about me, because i'm certain you'd have better thihngs to do than that.

and another thing, the staring..it kinda bothers me. i understand that i must appear some shade of interesting to you, but a blank stare in my general direction is never very becoming on anyone.

and don't pretend you care. we've always known i felt more than you.

don't humour me.

for once, just once offer your opinion on something i say without hiding behind quotes and the words of others.

you don't get thoughts from books.

think for yourself my dear boy.

to quote one miss angelina jolie, whilst in the character of one miss lisa rowe

"i'm free. i'm free. you don't know what freedom is."

--

in short:

stop pretending.

stop talking shit.

stop being a fucking idiot.

stop being you.

--

and i'd love to say "thats it, you're gone from my life." but we'll still talk tomorrow.

--

i give you compliment after compliment.

and i mean every fucking one of them.

i gave you a "sense of self" (your words, not myne)

i made you feel good about yourself.

i showed you that you could be content.

i tell you you're a rockstar.

i make sure you've no doubts in your mind that someone cares.

i even tell you all the things you do wrong.

i tell you when you're being an asshole, when you've gone too far.

and have you ever returned the favour?

have you ever told me something good about myself, besides "you're the most fucked up person i know".

have you, in the last 6 months, even given the impression that you give a fuck.

and most importantly, have you ever told me that i'm being an asshole, that i've gone too far?

thats what i want to hear more then anything.

to see you angry, and angry at me.

--

jesus christ i wish i could hate you.

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