is that a question or a statement?

instead of spending 3 hours attempting to prove a point, how about we just come out and say it.

i'm angry.

almost bitter.

always the same scapegoat.

well not alwyas i believe i actually have 3 of them but thats beside the point.

there's that word again.

once again, music from a long ago time.

i am spending tonight playing donkey kong on my super nintendo and listening to moby and pendulum.

just like i used to.

on monday.

i once wrote that it's easier to think straight wheen you're not writing stoned.

makes sense doesn't it.

perhaps, only sometimes.

brainwashed.

i believe i have mentioned it before.

get confused sometimes ya know, between this and all my other writings i get confused with the persona.

who am i again?

oh yeah, thats right.

momentary lapse of

clarity

insight

sanity.

nice.

it's not that bad that i'm nice all the time is it? what would i achieve from being an asshole?

a repuation?

already got one.

your approval?

i'm trying to convince myself i don't need it.

bad karma?

i've got enough already.

i'll just keep being nice.

no harm in that right.

even if it doesn't live up to your standards of how a girl like me is supposed to be, as though if i wish to dress the way i do, i have to act to suit it.

who can be bothered.

i didn't start it off as an image.

why turn it into one?

"but thats a lie."

pendulum are great.

disc one of three knocks.

beautiful.

or maybe it's disc two.

whatever, it's the slow one.

amen.

--

it is

--

emotional.

dirty word ya know.

confused.

heartbreak.

depressed.

wrong.

wanting.

you.

hurt.

all dirty words.

--

i have done my best to delete these words from my mental vocabulary.

pathetic i know.

don't start this again.

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