promises broken

doubting original doubts

wishing i'd have stuck with it in 2 hours i should've been getting on that bus instead i'm sitting here wishing i hadn't said that i doubted myself

someone fucking help me

someone tell me what to do please should i go or not i don't fucking know I DON'T FUCKING KNOW

this is my cry for help i never thought it would come to using that dreaded 'h' word but i need it fucking hell i need it now

he told me that he'd make up my mind for me told me i had to stay no matter what i'm lost so fucking lost now as always nothings changed nothings fucking changed i can't stay here with this god fucking help me i can't stay here with this

stop repeating yourself

i would like very much to slap her in the face now she's just going into hysterics someone give her a fucking sedative don't talk about me like i'm not here don't talk about me like i don't hear it

whats she doing whats she doing whats she doing i've been praying i need guidance i need direction i need help i need someone to love me i need to not question it i had that i fucking had that i didn't question him i didn't question what he said thats bullshit yes you did remember thinking too much about the word rape remembering how many times i said no that first day on the bed pulling up my jeans pulling down my shirt wouldn't let me wouldn't fucking let me just kept going i couldn't bacvk out because he said he would help me said he'd make it ok wel he didn't fucking didn't or maybe he did i just don't know why did he do this make me question so much i don't want to question myself coz i love her more than anything i'm confused do you see this, fucking see this i'm confused now this is me this is real this is jess not knowing not caring caring too muc can't find the words fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me this is fucked so fucked i can't believe i've bene reduced to repeating that word how pathetic god you suck so bad fuck you fuxk you FUCK YOU

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