-

yesterday i

met a little girl

or rather met a man whose name was randall

who introduced me to a little girl

whose name was Talula.

-

i was followed by

(or rather just plain followed)

a man with

skinny legs

in tight flared jeans and a

purple

tie dyed Jimi Hendrix t shirt

he had

tattoos

all over both of his arms

(looks like he's wearing a long sleeve shirt, my eyes weren't on them much i was..distracted somehow)

corner lip ring

strange but great hair

after awhile

after he was everywhere

i went

and vice versa

and just as i was leaving

in maybe less than 30 seconds

so many sweet little shared smiles

comfort

recognition

just that 30 seconds

finality

-

i don't know his name but ther's a possibility he knows myne.

-

i had dinner with my grandparents.

they had meals i had

bread.

-

i gave my mother a rather large

picture

with flowers a house etc.

and on the back

wrote a little message and signed it

love and inherited grace always

...

-

i suggested to benny that we

elope.

viable option.

no molly for a good 10 years though.

-

my stomach is all fluttery

i'm always anxious and or excited about something

unknown something

mysterio

-

(i met a woman)

felicity

she had a mouth like yours..

-

i masturbated

(of course)

got off on powerlust

or rather power memories

do you remember?

keys in my hand smug smiles tears in your eyes looking UP to me

flesh under fingernails

ohh dear.

-

it was necessary

do you remember

this time last year.

i do.

it's the same kind of cold

the same smells or maybe not

really

i remember.

all too well because

all this time

well i thought i'd forgotten

about it.

-

i've a feeling these memories will haunt me

until it would be equal time since he left

since the seed of fuck

was scraped out.

-

but then perhaps

still i'll be haunted

(my insides are still shaking worse than ever)

by

equal time since i wasn't living here.

equal time since i was

for fucks sake

i really need to get some shit together

-

2 really amazingly cute boys just knocked at my front door

i heard them saying something

cute as you can't miss her man

is sam home?

no

he's not

will be soon though

i'm in my pajamas

black and red

felix the cat

$3.99

yeah

-

so empty.

-

the dreams?

well now the dreams

are so much longer

so much more detailed

and i'm so AWARE when i'm all wrapped up inside them

but as soon as my eyes open

all the memories are lost

come back in Tiny spurts

over the next hour or so maybe

but i always feel so good in my dreams

they do not lack.

-

my stomach.

i'm so uncomfortable in my body.

how do you fix that?

so uncomfortable in time place location everything

can't move

immobilised

i can't think of anything

to comfort.

perhaps just get over it get on with it

don't think about it

but still

temporary solutions

everything is temporary

nothing is solid.

doesn't it make you dizzy?

it makes me sick.

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