i don't know if i'm comfortable with writing all this shit about how he makes me feel and how much i......whatever.

but perhaps it's good. this is what "normal" 16 year old girls do with their time isn't it? well, actually, i guess "normal" 16 year old girls do more with their time than sit at home. but thats besides the point.

lucky i dno't believe in normal anyway....

but really...you would think i would be writing about more than him and all of that shit. but it's ok. out of my 4 diaries, this is my puppy love journal. perhaps some other time i shall post links to my other pages. perhaps.

my parents are on a cleaning/redecorating frenzy. it's only because it's christmas next week and their friends will be here. usually they don't care. but we have to keep up appearances ya know..

the other day when i was staying at mums place she was talking to the woman (heather..evil evil evil) who i used to live with (and then miss evil kicked me out..grr) and it was all happy smiles and stuff when heather was telling mum about her daughter's grades. when heather asked mum about myne, mum politely avoided the subject by saying "she did better than she thought she would. but her music's going great.." why could she not just say "well she failed every class except drama and english...and she's quit her music lessons"

because then she would be looked down upon. oh, it was bad enough when all her friends discovered that *shock horror* all of her kids were on drugs. "oh my, what will the ladies at the luncheon say?"

who cares.

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"out by the fountain

i passed by the station

i start the day in the usual way

then think well why not

and stop for a coffee

and begin to recall things that you say.

pluck up the courage

andsnap it's gone again

i start humming when doves cry

can someone help me

i think that i'm lost here

lost in a place called america."

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