and so he's started talking in tongues again. i think he knows that nothing makes melove him more than his use of the english language.

hmmm *sighs*

it's fun being so dramatic sometimes...

amber told me she is writing a book about me. she also said something along these lines:

"i'm pretty sure you alrady know how i feel about you. but it's not going to change anything is it?"

and so i told her, as much as i would love for it to change everything, i just can't do it. not at the moment anyway.

maybe i should..even though i kow my heart wouldn't be in it, perhaps i should just go along for the ride. but i couldn't do that to her. i did it to amanda. perhaps i just like watching these girls fall for me..perhaps i enjoy it, and maybe it's just another sign of my insecurities, that i need to know that these girls feel so much for me...and i keep giving them these long winded reasons to, and i lead them on and every now and then, i build up their hopes so very much..only to do something so typical of me and get scared and just..ahh dear.

the thought that "perhaps the way they feel for me, is the way i feel for alex" has been floating around in my head for a couple of days.

once again, these things get shown to me so clearly, it's almost bizarre.

i really want another template for this page. perhaps one featuring a beautiful skinny white person, such as perhaps jeff buckley, or tori amos..or ultiametly one miss Anglenia Jolie. if anyone happens to be reading this, and feels the need to design a template for me...please email me.

or perhaps i will just go searching for one or something.....hmmm

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