alex has gone away for 2 weeks. and yes, as a result of me giving in, things were beautiful once again that night (as we knew they would be). but, i'm still trying to figure out how to break the news to the poor boy that i can't get him his precious converse chucks anymore. (they are his "dream shoe"..and a friend of myne mentioned to me that he had a pair that he'd never worn..so, i casually asked if i could have them to give to alex..i found out yesterday that they are about 3 sizes to small for our beloved geek boy..) i think i'll send him an email. that way he can grieve in private.

i spent the majority of last night talking to a very nice young lad by the name of Matthew. very nce indeed he was..it was at a good time, just as i was thinking i'll die of boredom without "The Whispers Of A Thousand Voices" on my contac list over the next 2 weeks. so yes, it was very good. very interesting conversations..haha

and i saw young amber yesterday afternoon. i did the best i could to avoid eye contact..why it bothers me to look her in the eye, i don't know. perhaps just because she is so openly and painfully obviously full of love and affection and the like. but it was good to hold her again..as it always is. there's no denying that this girl is absolutely gorgeous...hmm ok amazingly, stunningly gorgeous..but still, she's just so nice. then again, she is a gemini..so perhaps if i get past the niceness..hmm interesting concept..

ahh dear...so yes, it seems as though my pot smoking habit has, once again, reared it's ugly head and is fighting full force so to speak. i even did the whole "i know that you have weed and i don't..and i want some so i will tell you a big sob story about how i need it to calm me down and stop the 'shit' so then you will volunteer to drop me over some of your precious happy herbs, because you feel sorry for me" thing with danni this afternoon. it worked. but i still haven't been able to have a chop. i'm ever so patiently awaiting my dad going to bed. well perhaps not so patiently but..the thoughts there.

ya know, i think one of the main differences between diaryland and blogger is that, with diaryland one almost feels as though one should have a point to what they're writing. where as with blogger...it's just so random and useless. perhaps it's the concept of naming your entries that does it..i guess, one could only have so many answers titled "useless random dribble"..

i'm listening to faithless. very nice. it's been awhile..faithless always brings back memories of last summer, a girl called marina who enjoyed smoking joints on our front step and telling me about europe, and me sitting there, enjoying the joint with her and playing with the smoke from a stick of nag champa incense. beautiful girl she was...very beautiful..beautiful times to..

hmm that reminds me..she wrote to me the other day..i should reply...

ahh dear..."crazy english summer"

how can it not bring back memories?

and so..i'm thinking that it would be rather silly of me to be missing alex while he's gone. i'm not sure why really..well, just because missing him is so..ahh i don;t know. but i get the impression that there wil be times that i'll miss him. and shit..it's only for 2 weeks! ahh such a drama queen i am.. but i think it's more just the conversations we have...and the moment of anticipation when i come online "will he be on?"..and most of the time, yes, he's on. but alas, for 2 weeks..there will be no anticipation. well in all honesty, there probably will be small traces of it but they will be entirely subconscious...

well...my patience has been rewarded...fare thee well diarylanders

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