i've been asking myself alot of questions lately. sometimes i'm not sure if i don't know the answer, or if i just don't want to hear the answer.

i've also been burying my head in books more than usual, replacing my wonderland with alices.

we (alex and u) were going to stage our own litle protest today on boat harbour drive. i called him this morning and turns out he doesn't think he war on iraq is worth standing in the sun for a couple of hours. i can find so many faults in this boy, and not too many good points, and yet i am still drawn to him. perhaps just because i know the potential he has, if he would just get over himself. he wastes his intellect on thinking he is some kind of god. why do i like him so? so many times when we talk i end up feeling like shit. all he cares about is himself, and perhaps thats why i fnd him so irresistable.

i am getting Kurt Cobains journals today. it was quite the moral dilemma i'd been facing. pondering it for a couple of months. finally decided to just let my curiousity get the better of me, and to give Ms. Love some more money for selling the man she loved. god i dribble shit sometimes.

ya know, i read other peoples diaries, blogs and such and it amazes me that they cna write about their sadness so openly, so honestly. that they can put it into words. i envy them. it must be even slightly easier to deal with when you can see parts of it (i doubt they could write it all out) in front of you, written down so plainly so that it doesn't so big anymore.

or i could be wrong. it quite possibly doesn't help at all.

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