by 'we' i mean the general population of the world.

we all have words in the back of our minds that we wouldn't dare speak out loud.

or commit to writing for that matter.

it's sad and pathetic and it's human.

i wish to be able to say the things that scare me.

not to be misread as though i am referring to someone else.

it's all about me.

it's always been about me.

i am selfish by nature.

indulgent.

thats quite a sexy word.

soft hair.

incredibly soft.

i don't remember the last time it felt like this.

nice to remember.

if only i could.

found something i'd written on christmas day.

four lines.

and even i was shocked.

always enjoy reading things i'd forgotten about.

and wondering who wrote that and then realising.

oh, it was her.

me.

either or.

thinking of getting rid of her.

causes too much trouble.

more trouble than she's worth?

if only it was as easy as i expect it to be.

thing is, it would probably be a lot easier.

and that scares me.

more so than other things.

i remember how she twisted my words.

makes them sound like something else,

something i don't like.

if we could stop her and keep the beauty.

it would be ok then.

but i don't think it works like that.

inhale and then begin a long winded nonsensical argument.

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