interesting no?

ahh dear girl look where we are it's incredible.

tonight has been a night of wonder, of magic.

and the all important word

irony.

and the beauty of this new found irony is that i can't really see it.

can feel that it's there but not have to see it.

and it feels good i feel like i can live how have i been born this is such bad

stop

-

chai tea.

i've been drinking chai tea tonight.

i've been listening to "blissful beats and chilled-out house" (so my cd case tells me)

placebo janes addiction silverchair (i have a story for that one)

bjork started the evening i believe.

and for four days i have had tori's blood roses running through my head

i think you're a queer

-

something one might not know.

i have hairy legs.

and armpits.

and i love them.

decoration.

all about decoration.

bruised wrists

so good so pretty

sad girls.

there is a sad girls dot org website that i thought would be cool.

i don't think i like it.

can't believe what shit i'm writing must

-

back to my music.

my favourite line in tori's sorta fairytale down near mexico way something bout the open road i knew that he was looking for some indian blood

200 cigarettes.

a new favourite movie of mine simply for the line at the end about people using cigarettes to avoid interaction with people.

or something along those lines.

ani - dilate. i fail to see that this is a good song, i don't like the guitar work, but there's just a couple of lines that speak eons (eons?) to me.

yeah. stoned writing. great isn't it.

ohh a question!

i wonder if you out there leads the double life?

are you a happy girl to some?

are you a happy girl to most?

and people must never see the full extent of this other side i have a warped view of these things

and i think too much

way too much

i probably smoke too much pot to but thats ok

but you know whats not ok is that i was supposed to have quit this thing over a year ago.

everyone thinks that i have.

think it's a long lost memory.

but it's still happening right in front of them and they don't see a thing.

and i always find it funny, that when i talk of my pot habit, i could quite easily be describing my 'sadness'

so many things with everything

i get overwhelmed by looking at the big picture and then focusing on all the small ones

still fully aware of the big pictures

it's a strange place to be and to be hoest the thought has entered my mind quite a few times that i am discovering something brilliant.

somethingno one was expecting.

something i don't understand.

so it's all in there and i can't get to it.

can't comprehend it.

strangest of places but don't get me wrong it's ncredibly beautiful

this is the thing that overwhelms me is beauty

it used to just make me sad, and that in itself was more beautiful than all of it, but now

i feel love

with the world

it's insane

i love it

ohh dear i really am stoned aren't i.

laugh laugh

honesty i think is here

did you see it

and did you see that?

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