i think the walls are getting thinner and i can almost hear the screams.

she's not a happy girl.

-

ahh tacky music.

where would we be without you.

-

i think what it is is that things used to feel very close.

i was extremely aware, as i think i may have stated before.

thinks feel calmer now.

realising the true distance bewteen myself and the desk

myself and my clothes myself and myself

see it?

-

i feel theres a slight menacing tone to her voice.

i think i am big on oxymorons

-

i elaborate too much

think too much.

my every day small talk consists of way too mny 'feels' and 'thinks'

i'm too loud.

i'm awkward.

i don't talk.

when i do it's never what you were expecting.

i am a never ending series of anticlimax's.

and i repeat myself.

all the time.

-

i'm still overhwelmed by a moment that happened a week ago.

it has dominated everything.

and it was a week ago.

feels like last night.

-

i prefer the night because unexpected things very rarely happen then.

nothing too huge is going to take place.

no interruptions, no chance meetings, no surprises.

i like that.

also, people don't keep telling that you that you should get out of the house.

i love that i don't leave my house for 3 days.

and would make that longer but i have to go to school.

i want to be a hermit.

-

must be so incredibly boring to be in the audience.

but it's a brilliant role to play.

-

what frustrates me alot is that i know i'm not living to my full potential.

i have opportunities presented to me that could change so much.

and i take them but don't work them to even half my full ability.

why?

because i'm lazy.

no other excuse.

i tell myself i'm so caught up in all of 'this' (be it art, sadness, what have you..) that i can't focus on opportunities.

such bullshit.

it's amazing the lies we tell ourselves.

even when it's people like us, who think that because we're sad or because we're 'different', we see truth.

we still lie to ourselves.

we're just better at it than the other people.

-

i can hear hole coming from the lounge room.

courtney love has been pissing me off the past couple of months, but i feel some strange need to be faithful to her.

possibly just because i like her trashiness.

i think it was all ruined for me when i saw her in that 'beat' movie.

i didn't like the movie.

-

music is big for me.

i find that when i'm 'entertaining guests' (this doesn't happen very often. and if it does happen, it will only be one of 3 people.) i talk alot about whatever music we happen to listening to.

i tell stories for almost every song.

this must get quite annoying

but i love doing it, i love remembering things i felt with a song.

songs hold magic if you find the right one

music is this wonderful universal language...i love it.

-

all over the place today aren't i.

it's been happening for hours.

and long winded to.

ahh well.

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