walks through bushes

'sometimes a boy just needs a walk through the bushes'

we're young, this is the time to experiment he said

i told him i thought i was a lesbian for awhile

he said that was odd because he sometimes thinks he's gay

-

clothes coming off and a black t shirt to lie on

we are almost identical

long sleeves under black t shirts

naked except our black studded belts which would clink clink together and scrape on my skin

i have bruises on my thighs scratches on my back and bite marks on my neck and nipples

i've never felt more disgusting and never felt more alive.

-

the night before i kissed a boy

for the first time in a long time

(the irish mystic doesn't count)

and it was sweet and innocent and beautiful and everything that a 16 year old girl should feel

-

and i was drunk.

both nights.

-

i'm meeting nice boys and nice girls from melbourne who want to show me their bead collection

wearing astroboy shirts and loving my sister

getting a bit freaked out from time to time but knowing how to calm myself down now

-

killed my baby on monday and i've never felt better.

-

things are going ok and i think i've found a new level.

i think i'm going to start drinking alot more maybe smoking less pot and trying some new drugs.

and i'm going to splendour in the grass next week.

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