sounds so pathetic but thats all it is really.

nothing more, nothing less.

so simple.

-

i hate myself.

and i want to die.

-

eh

-

ever get those moments where theres this image of yourself in your head

and your in a room or something enclosed and your screaming and it's like it's on camera because they've done some special effect like on a film clip

and your screaming so loudly and shaking your head and it's messy

and i remain composed at all times but i am always

always

screaming in my head

screaming fat and abuse at myself and hating it hating it so much

and i can't talk about it because only dickheads actually say that they hate themselves only dickheads do it only dickheads

and i'm a dickhead

and i don't think theres anything left for me to do besides fuck up

and i don't know if i want to fuck up

and my sister says that nothing would surprise her now that she's so

whatever

but i bet you any amount of money that when she comes home and finds that i've trashed her apartment and shot myself in the head

she'll be surprised

-

i want it now

hate

i know it now

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