a change

a shift.

-

i spoke words yesterday

about myself

and my girl

that were so true

i cried

-

i had never spoken such truth before.

i had never known such truth.

about anything

-

i'm going to go back

not because of my sister

not because i'm scared

not because things aren't good

but because i ran away from something

and now i can go back and make it work

and i know i can

-

i don't doubt myself anymore

-

i think i'm better

i think i'm better

i think i'm better

-

and i'm not scared becasue i know that it's right

i know it

i don't doubt myself

for the first time i can remember i don't doubt myself.

-

i have a plan

to work and to study (psychology) and to save

to save for what?

i'm not sure yet.

to buy a car and do what i always dreamed of

to drive away, drive off and find life and things waiting for me

i'm not going to die anytime soon

-

i hadn't planned this far ahead but i understand now

that it's ok

and that things will happen as they are meant to

-

i think it's going to be ok

i'll have moments where i'll start to slip

or at least think i'm starting to slip

but they'll pass as these things do

-

i wouldn't go as far as to call this 'inner peace'

but i think it's the closest thing to it that i'm going to feel for quite some time

and i'm happy

i'm content.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next