i'm still listening to ani and i umm

well i started work yesterday and

someone asked me

'so, who are you?'

and it tok me by surprise

because

this person

is very

very

beautiful

and

the fact that they would care to hear the answer to the question

felt like something wonderful

i asked him who he was

he shares a name

with he who i have been

sending

everything

to

over the past couple of nights.

-

he told me he's been searching for nothingness his whole life.

-

yes

he's very beautiful.

-

this is absurd

this is really quite sickening

how i'm thinking about boys like

like i'm in primrary school

this one that one

i'm in love i want sex

well i didn't have sex in primrary school.

but that doesn't matter.

-

i don't know if it really feels

absurd

or

sickening.

it just feels kind of

normal

lately i just feel like

i'm letting my mind

and my self

travel as they wish as far as thoughts and feelings and reactions to things are concerned

i'm just letting them go.

feeling a little too much perhaps

i spoke of fear today.

-

apply that to everyday conversation

-

it's been raining today

a beautiful beautiful day

(theres no need to repeat myself as much as i do)

it was like this on the weekend

a great big melancholy

covered the sky

sadness was in the air

-

i got asked out on a date today

i'm

not going to say yes because

the guy kind of freaks me out

just a bad feeling about him, something thats not right

i think that

i need to

change

some things.

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