staring.

at a page, that is empty

that i wish to fill

-

like a dream

like a life

-

thinking

thinking

(she never stops)

even in my dreams i'm waking

and even then i feel it

the

uncomfort

the

awkwardness

not right, i don't fit things

don't fit

-

somethings wrong

-

i thought i was going to die yesterday

-

something needs to happen

-

where do i go from here

i need

something to show me

just point me in the righ direction

and i'll make of the rest

what i will

-

i have to wash my hair at some point tonight

i have alot of hair.

i lost my hair tie at work today

everyone was 'oohing' and 'aahing at me as though

it was some secret weapon i had and i had been waiting for just that moment to let it loos

(it wasn't like that but...thats how it worked just the same)

i could overhear this guy say that he wanted

'a piece of that'

and the guy standing next to him said i would be 'too tight' and that he preferred older woman

-

my hair made me feel

self conscious

-

kinda scared

-

but really

really

hot.

-

as in...not the temperature

-

so yeah

my hairs really dirty and

knotting up again

s i think i should wash it

and then

go and get stoned in my red t-shirt and black underwear

and my cool (it'll be clean then though..not quite as cool) hair

(oh well)

-

apparantly nothing...

-

amanda

my darling

(someone had 2 girls kissing against their car on saturday night. they probably don't even know....and the pole felt love)

in less than 2 months

we will be returning from woodford

in a new year

possibly with an entire new

outlook

on life and the universe

-

and drugs.

-

wonderful.

-

there's a boy

beautiful boy

(talks of darkness with an accent)

if one of us doesn't act within the next

3 days

we may never see eachother again

-

this is a daunting though.

-

more than likely

i'm not going to do anything.

he probably won't either

-

this is a big problem in my life

a recurring

problem

(obstacle)

some other word

whatever jess

it doesn't matter.

-

jane says.

(gonna start tomorrow)

-

i need to go wash my hair.

get stoned

and then wash my hair

-

(i love you all little diaryland people. i think being able to read other peoples thoughts, however...sad/morbid/whatever they are, probably make us worse but feel like they make things better. but it can be really beautiful....i like to feel as though i'm being heard, without having to interact personally with anyone)

xoxox

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