stoned now

well

more stoned than before

double entry

woohoo

-

veins

pop out of your skin, your back

i can see your skeleton through your t-shirt

(buzzing starts)

you put your hand on my back

-

you're the first person

i remember

feeling comfortable telling them through my eyes that

i need help

am lost

don't know what to do where to go how to

breathe.

i show you that.

you pick up on it

-

mention it to me and

articulate words that

from anyone else would sound

like hopeless cliches and movie lines

things you thought i wanted to hear

-

genuine

sincerity

these things are yours

-

perhaps because you've

got that connection with God.

-

alot of people know who you are

i had dejavu about us sitting at a bus stop

-

you said that

we're almost opposites

(balance darling)

that we have so many reasons to fight but you thik it pointless

(perhaps we could both prove eachother wrong)

isn't that a frightening thought

-

now one must

wonder

if this is heading in any specific direction or

simply energies

bouncing off eachother, basking in one another

only to fleet off and find something else

to dance with

we have to wonder about that.

but then,

when i do i feel

as though it's not right that i sould be questioning such a thing

-

just go with this perhaps

ignore the fear

ignore the smoke

smile

see where it leads

people

are coming at you from everywhere aren't they

lived such a

solitary existence

for a long time

and now what is this

happenings baby

things are happening

-

one year ago.

much has happened in one year

too much, so

much

-

it's ok

i'm same same but different

(my sister)

remember what i felt for you one year ago

confusion anger

more so than ever before

but

calm

accepting

resigned.

-

remember what i felt for myself

-

been remembering the

moments i would put myself through throughout this year

horrible horrible times

all such a blur

such a haze

-

scars on my wrist and i can

kinda

remember doing but

don't really comprehend that i did it to myself

-

been thinking about that lately

on ankles and thighs

and burns

everywhere

(enough)

-

words.

nice

to have them

-

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