i would like to perfect this art

-

seems my consciousness is held in between death and the devil

major changes and chains aruond my ankles

i'm holding myself back

-

somethings standing waiting for me

(glad i got to tell you about my many metaphors)

you're standing there staring and you're wanting

to

i know you do

-

see you glance at me when a hand gets held

a face stroked

hair placed behind an ear

-

i got to play with your jeans

-

sex and me go together hey

evil little girl

my darling

i'm still scared because you don't realise yet

-

which could mean

theres much i hven't realised yet

yeah

calm down

-

lack of inspiration lack of words which is strange because beauty

so much

around me and in me but

not going anywhere

circling round and around me not wanting to let go of me

-

i have my cd player on random alot and sometimes i think it puts certain songs on because it wants to hear me sing

-

in reality this electrical device probably hasn't formed an emotional attachment to me

but yeah...

-

my parents

well

(my dad, his girlfriend)

have proposed an idea to my brother and i

they wish to

leave the nest

live their own lives

-

they want to move out and leave my brother and here at this house to get people in to live with us

-

they want this

very much

-

and i don't in any way want to stop my dad from doing something that he wants to

because

(he's not happy. sometimes makes me think perhaps he's in love with it though perhaps i should leave it feed it, but thats wrong)

isn't it.

-

but i don't know how my brother and i would handle that

-

something to think about

-

told you about it and i saw that the same thought that immediately struck me, struck you before you moved onto something (more rational) else

didn't say anything

i still haven't muttered the thought out loud but

we'll see.

-

so beautiful.

we compliment eachother i think but

you confuse me

and

i haven't let myself go with you yet

nor have you

we're both very wary of eachother

scared

hurt tainted

-

guilty.

-

but then thats not possible because you're so good so god like so

love

-

showing me new faces i'm not sure exactly what is it you want me to be?

am i now

convertinbg to your life and living with your skin and breathing the same breath as thousands of others so we can go and sing songs and praise what we call god and live these lives full of restrictions and rules and self denial

to become friends with your friends (friends with your exgirlfriend) look after them look up to me don't want to do that anymore was hoping to move on from that

seems like you're scared sometimes to be alone you say i'm searching for something i've found it though i know my god

do you?

perhaps i'm here to save you because your religion is wrong your life is sin and people should have sex

all the time

(and love need not be involved)

-

always half crazy

(make about as much sense as a nursery rhyme)

-

so are you trying to shape me do you think that you can change me am i not right the way i am because i look at you and you think i'd prefer you different

on drugs

'hardcore'

but any other way and you'd be incomplete you wouldn't sit and we would never have met

ever know that certain people are proof of god in their magnificence

(?)

-

our paths had crossed at least once before didn't see you didn't notice (and if i saw, i would've noticed)

certain things had to happen first now look where we are we have met feel i know you already

time is witing for us

things are waiting for us darling

what are we going to do

-

consciousness is lovers underneath has reached a stalemate

blocked

waiting

killing time

(don't start with time)

i used to be a superhero

-

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