(this is real life?)

-

not feeling awkward or uninspired but just

kind of blank.

-

animated discussions in supermarket aisles

hands thrown in the air whilst talking of belief systems and what is right and what is wrong

wheres the point in this

endless possibilities and things always - ALWAYS - presenting themselves to me

(the daugher of an actress)

a song i thought was lost, so lost in fact i had completely forgotten it existed

really really nice to hear this right now

(chance darling?)

the daugher of an actress

-

fighting with you trying to convince you that you'll see she's crazy trying to show that i know something - how utterly ignorant of me

(concerning myself with myself)

it seems i don't have any room in my place for that sort of communion with a person

i could sit here again and say that

(syndrome sycophant)

thats fucked

but

(no point right now and.....can't be bothered)

but it's an interesting thought

interesting because - is it going to change?

i fucking hope so

-

i think i could learn alot from a person - the RIGHT person

and the fact that this person doesn't appear to have completely materialised as yet makes me wonder if perhaps thats because

(i'm not ready?)

-

we could just sigh and know that we'll find out one day

-

i'm reading books that my father has been telling me about for a years, written by tibetan monk Tuesday Lobsang Rampa and

some of it makes me a bit depressed but it feels so true

-

i don't want to fight about belief systems

nothing left now and i try to tell you of things i know nearly nothing about

always half formed opinons half structured arguments she's pathetic

we know this already

-

the veins on the back of my hands pop out alot more than ever before

my hands have changed, are changing

small wrinkles are forming on the backs and along the edges of my palms

(why is this)

i find it intriguing.

-

i find it intriguing that we don't doubt reality

this feeling of

solidness

wich is existing

isn't it the most bizarre thing?

and don't you just despise it, hate it with all the passion it makes possible

-

i would like to see a certain person from my past re-enter the fore front of my life.

(soon)

or.....

whenever you're ready

whenever's good for you

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