'we were meant to be together'

(quietness)

-

this thing inside of me grabs hold

blocks off all walls of average conscious thought, only enough so that i can still hear muffled voices words pictures fragments

blocks it off and grabs hold of that part of me that is

raw

me

that is not my soul but the very essence of my human, of myself on this world of illusion as the jessica taylor

(the miss jessica taylor)

it grabs this part of me and it screams at her, it is her so therefore it knows EVERYTHING

it knows everything she hates everything she

(aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhh)

fears

she knows everything that shifts the very fucking foundations this girl has built her waking dream life from

-

she grips hold of me and i am familiar with this feeling i know what it can do

i let go.

-

i control everything that occurs in my mind

everything

i can change anything, i can DO anything

this power could be daunting evil

-

wonder why these things still happen, wonder why i still choose to do that to myself why do i want to scream at myself and destroy everything that i am erase it from history and time and thought and space

if i believe i am an equal to some kind of God then why do i feel that i am worthy only of nothingness

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