pissed on the stick then put it in the bin

took the plastic bag out and put it in the big bin so i couldn't change my mind

(just didn't want to know)

i feel pregnant.

(but then thats just me)

feel like crying.

-

(if i was to show you)

i'll just tell mark that

(i need a gun)

i took it and

(as far as you see it)

it was negative

(i'm already done for)

-

and then if someting pops up

it must've been that 1% that did it

-

really wanting to see you but im sick of calling so i'm waiting

for you to call me

(are you going to call?)

-

questioning my sincerity

and whats going on here

whats really in my heart?

(crying in the shower)

-

really want to see you tonight but i feel as though i won't

and then you'll work all week and go down to the big day out and....why do i care

(because you said you wanted to spend every minute together)

where the fuck are you

-

nobody loves you

(nobody cares)

-

utterly alone

seperated

self induced social segregation

-

beautiful but empty

-

i still feel as though i'd be my perfect match

i know how i want to love and i know how i want to be loved

i'd really like to find myself a beautiful girl who i could spend days with - just locked up in a room, smoking fucking talking sleeping

(deadly gray)

slitting wrists

getting inolved in some things we can't seem to find a safe way out of

getting lost and being oblivious to it

-

who's mark in love with?

(not me)

amy is in love with him

beks quite possibly in love with him

dave

has alot floating underneath the surface

(i feel i'd like to stir it up a bit)

-

'Thats why i love this Woman!'

"why, because she likes german beer?"

(german beer. i imagine that it tastes like benny.)

-

did that one sting?

(why do i want to do that)

-

incredibly empty this weekend

maybe i just want to see you to see if i can feel something

(anything but this - emptiness)

but you're not there

(nobody cares)

-

comfortable

being with you feels comfortable

almost stable i guess

already(!)

-

i don't know if thats a good thing

got so bored the other night while we were having sex i nearly asked you to stop

i just couldn't be bothered

and you kept asking me questions, performance pressure darling

i still haven't touched your cock

(thats so unlike me)

but i find it

disguting

terrifying

(really really intimidating)

give me a nice pretty flower to play with, i know what to do with that

-

(eyes staring at me from all directions)

all of them my own

pointing fingers placing blame

(pour it onto me)

-

everybody wants to touch it

(hide me away)

-

cut it out of me

knife in my stomach, thats where i feel it right in my gut right in the centre of me

(raw)

red

stick a knife in my stomach and bleed me dry of everything that makes me who i am

(even then my soul won't rest)

i am in a state of un-comfort and dis-ease

(put me in the bath try and wash me clean)

while i am shivering

bleeding everywhere making a mess

rambling words and thoughts out loud, telling you how pathetic i am how i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry you were so clean and beautiful and i sat and covered all you are in mud, my mud

dirty little whore

dirtydirtydirtydirtydirtydirtydirty

fat slut

dirtydirtydirtydirtylitle42yearoldfucker

dirtydirtydirtylittleanonymousgirlinthebackyarddirtydirtydirtylittlescrewinthespadirtydirtydirtylittlejessica

dirty

-

ineedtogotryandgetclean

(scrubitallaway)

cutitoutandbleedallovereverythingjusttoprovethatitallmeansnothing.

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