and i had a whole bunch of pretty words to describe them with but

something smacked them out of me.

so, to put it bluntly

i just walked down to the beach, talked to my mum on the phone, smoked a joint and wrote while watching families fish and the sun go down

got incredibly carried away with how fucking wonderful and Fresh everything seems

how much i fucking love that boy kissing his mothers cheek with a smile on his face

listening to some wonderful ambient glitchy electronica

lots of stuff, luke vibert, nostalgia 77, qua, dave miller/eve millard

then i

noticed the ocean

things were starting to be coated in a black

so i made my way down there, lifted up my skirts and procedeed to..flirt

with the ocean and incoming little waves

for a good 45 minutes.

it was actually kind of turning me on.

so much so that the only reason i stopped was to go and lie down in the sand and get myself off like crazy

slowly though

oh no, i didn't want to rush anything

slowly..teasing myself even

oh so close..no, not yet precious

looking up at the stars though

and out at just this vast blue space

kind of misty

-

and benny

benny benny - fuck, really

i love this boy.

he just makes the whole world seem different, more beautiful

-

so there i am

lying there after Finally letting myself orgasm

and looking up, watching the stars i see a tiny little cute one

kind of shake and dislodge itself and then start

moving

(i'm fucking serious. don't laugh at me)

moving slowly across the sky..

for a good, oh

30 seconds to a minute?

and kind of flashing..sometimes red, sometimes just..your usual star colour

and then it just disappeared.

to my eyes, in that 30 seconds to a minute it looked as though that star moved about...80 metres

pretty cool hey?

the books i've been reading have been talking about ufo's, the 'gardeners of the earth' and such

so seeing this was kind of comforting for me

-

but you know

those moments, flirting with the water

i think i can honestly say i was

"at peace"

with myself and with everything

lost in the moment, completely absorbed in it

everything was free.

movement.

it was really beautiful.

benny!

i can't stop thinking about him.

cannot. stop.

not that i want to.

i feel good.

(my baby's feeling good.)

there is something on lilith fair

on tv tonight.

how exciting.

You are so hot.

oh my.

i highly recommend public masturbation and bonding with nature.

-

found something and when she writes it's like she's writing right to me

i could make a mistake of replying one day

no, not that silly

don't let a name slip.

are you a real person?

-

i can't wait to taste you.

i'm called a need a want an everything

what happens in 7 weeks?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next