wow its 6-24 and i dont really feel like going to bed.....i just want to dedicate this very moment just to say....i love you....i love you, i love you....I LOVE YOU....

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hmmm yeah....how much is every part of my little body smiling right now.

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anyways

in a sense i only just missed him.

can you believe a jess and a bek opting out of a murderous evening?

a lack of what makes people get out of bed in the morning.

severe lack.

so i proceeded to

get drunk off red wine and smoke myself into oblivion

watch naked news and ogle breasts

some of those girls aren't all that attractive when they're naked.

and then i..fixed myself a midnight snack of cheese on toast, ate it, got a blanket and laid down on the couch

to fall into the gap

after awhile, i'd been floating, having converations with girls in stylish clothes

my dad came out, he couldn't sleep

he told me to go to bed, i mumbled that i like it better out here sometimes.

i think he tried to have a conversation with me but don't think it went very far.

he was watching bigger than ben hur

i continued to float and talk to girls in shopping centres for what felt like the whole night

but i finally came back to myself and decided to retreat to my room.

dad was still awake.

and still watching the same movie

('shit,' i thought, 'pretty long fucking movie')

i looked at the clock out there, glowing green..i thought it said 5:43

i sat on my bed and had a couple of pipes, looked at my phone and realised

it was really only 3:57

ha.

it had seemed odd that there were still all these stars out when it was nearly 6.

anyways

so i just sat up, writing and smoking until just after 5 maybe

so you know

about an hour and a half off but still

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i love him.

isn't he spectacular? isn't he just...well isn't he.

just.

mm

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nice night though.

a page full of pinks red black and brown

text.

look very nice, was much welcomed

hmmm

impulse entry.

wow, that was nice too.

happy sunday..i have a rip in my jeans.

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