(..could you be my calling?)

17.

days away

years from birth

oh ha.

(dear sweet mumma)

i'm not feeling well, everything shakes

blockage why did i sit down to spurt???

-----------------------

meetings

appointments intersection junction what is that word?

inter

mediate?

no, not at all...shit

look what you're doing to me..

just you. let me sit and talk to you

my hairs falling out, see?

i want a hole in my lip. 3 of them.

holes

not lips

well

maybe..

-

anyways, an appointment! to discuss

oh

have you got some kind of questionairre? some self diagnosis tool, i will point things out and you can form a

thingamajig

the phonecall, 8 people

these sudden bursts of anger

strange violence

thrown pens

cats

boots

thud.

dull.

thud.

-

bruises. from holding myself too tight.

holding my wrists.

too tight.

bruise. easy. oh

on my hipbones

they get in the way at work

i like that

-

skin and Sharlene....

-

i'm feeling burnt

conversations about my wellbeing

up and leave midsentence

too intense darling

i couldn't handle that

i don't know why.

build up.

-

italian men. with long curly tied back crazy hair tight jeans studded belts and white

shirts

italian Speaking men.

lick your lips.

-

and a

a

well he makes me shake. i've seen him twice.

i think he shakes too.

this is always some kind of

good sign

apparantly

going on past experiences

the shaking...

"Your Fault!"

wash it out

-

ridiculous claims to fame

to distraction

running from something, what is it dear

what is it

well i don't need...

you

-

i'm afraid that the scales are way off balance

when it comes to what i get said

versus what i don't

so much, too much it's silly

find some new words.

language

voice

medium

tell lies...

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