faded i'm sure

-

the olympics. what a huge fantastical waste of money.

-

i got a virus of some sort on my computer last night when i tried to download some life wihtout buildings? (rhythm and knowledge together..) but ahh

yes, virus..i thought maybe i wouldn't be able to fix it, so wouldn't be able to update this diary anymore, or any other diary, or do anything at all requiring a computer

but umm i fixed it.

which probably isn't a good thing.

this is really laughable now, which i guess means so am i but you know..i don't know, habit..or something

like trying to feel as if there's something

really pathetic...hmm

-

i don't know. i had this dream on the couch this morning

i can just remember seeing..this name, on a screen

which explained everything that needed explaining in this situation (situation? wow)

i can't remember what it was

-

i asked myself if i am seriously delusional.

because really you know...

-

theres a little girl in this house this weekend

she makes me never EVER want to have children.

really.

-

um, masturbations healthy right..?

-

no, not the little girl..two little non related comments there...promise

-

except maybe for thora birch in hocus pocus? or that girl in the pictures from enid blytons the faraway tree? oh my..the little brunette one..mm

ahhh...i just did that? i'm really not.

-

hmm e.t. and drew barrymore..just shut up jess

-

how many words do you think there are in these three hundred and ninety-two (now three) diary entries?

how many times do you think, words are repeated..how big would the piles be, if we layed one on top of the other maybe i should make a graph of some kind

i'll put it up here if i do.

-

i sat on my driveway and smoked 2 joints and a cigarette while drinking a johnnie walker and dry and listening to the sweet (i wouldn't mind betting highly jeff buckley influenced) sounds of carla werners departure album last night

i thought maybe nobody right now is registering that i am alive. maybe no one

no one is recognising my existence

shouldn't that invoke feelings of freedom?

relief?

ahh i don't know

but it was nice

i see palm trees and concrete, white and brown house which is incredibly decieving and the way looking at lots of pictures all the time makes you notice different things and want to change positions.

something like that.

stars. don't you see the same stars as me? you could look up and there was a

pinky orange star

right above my head --->THIS IS WHERE I AM!

don't come running, i just want you to know..

-

all hands half raised like i ALMOST had the answer

dripping off tongues

opulence.

-

listening to bob dylan makes me reminisce over highschool

i find that odd, on so many levels

....dylan

i used to wear beads in my hair didn't i..i forgot about that

and that black t shirt (it's kind of..charcoal grey now) that i wore for 3 months? i'm wearing it now...

it makes me feel the same as it did back then and i wore it for 3 months so obviously, the feelings good

i don't know if it was exactly 3 months, but that doesn't really matter..it was around 3 months, or felt like it..or it just seems that funny little phases would fit in 3 months, or they do, sometimes, or two..ha

i exhaust things quickly.

-

the little girl is full of whats that's

it's

well intriguing, enviable..slightly irritating i'm sorry to say..but lets be honest

-

or lets not.

wow look, i started this at the 17 again.

3:35..

like it stopped being for something, and just dwindled into something to do

like television

oh laziness

idleness

i'm really confused, about living.

-

lets be good for eachother artistically.

i want to be your yoko.

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