tears and raspberry smelling hairgel on my pillow and and and colourful smears on my cheek because the girl full of questions coloured me in

missed the world again for sleep..

oh, hello semi-trailer

-

my hands smell like sex

oh sorry that was me

-

all ugly and fat because i ate twenty freddo frogs

and all this salami

and some caramello koalas..remember sherbies? and wizzfizz?

hmm me too

-

sectioned off

staked out even..someone amputate my hands and make a hooper out of me. goodbye lips, hello blowhole

stumbling around, i have really bad balance

can't walk straight

i wrote so much last night

ahh i did a tarot reading

and i very rarely (VERY RARELY) pull the devil card

but i did, as the final 'possible outcome' card

and i was asking about

delusions and the sweet smelling boy

the whole reading was bad, except for one card.

benny and i got a good one. we usually do.

-

things seem more serious against a black background

or when theres all this space in between them

like the statements i choose to make must really be something special

but well you know

upon closer inspection..like when you actually start to read

and this entry a day thing..there's nothing happening at the moment

i could write and write and write but no one (least of all me) wants to hear those things really

so, instead, i

well i tap out these useless tiresome words, just random banter really

little catchphrases and things that pop into my otherwise (shockingly) blank head throughout the day

and nights..how falling asleep is really something to look forward to

i seem to put it off though

-

if you're really here then come.

-

they were all laughable

the air was tense and i found myself pitying him and with a hint of resentment for her

obvious discontentment, and this

uncomfortablity(?)

asking questions..no one cared enough to ask them back

-

my cat cosmo hardly ever leaves me alone

it's ok, but she's so affectionate, we have this amazing relationship

but she's always in my face and at my feet, wanting kisses and hugs and whatever else

(literally in my face, right now her wet little nose is touching my chin)

i get really irritated by it sometimes and occasionally throw her off my lap or something, so she gets the picture

and i think sometimes maybe maybe maybe you know thats what i am like as a lover

like cosmo.

-

ahh big sigh jessica

i'm carrying too much shit around

really, i've got to let go of some things, just get over them

and because every passing car sometimes, every snapping twig, crunching concrete, barking dog

sometimes every one

-

but it's not. won't be.

-

i kind of cringe everytime i hear franz ferdinand

that would have been such beautiful fun love

-

i know. i know i know i know i know i know

hey i'm going to have pictures soon

of when i was in sydney, way back in february

i think it will be great for me to see them

i've been having serious doubts about

what i actually look like

i really can't tell anymore

changes everyday..every hour

i spend too much time

locked up

but what else

-

i wish

now i can't remember what i wished

what does it matter anyway

carla werner i'm glad you listened to so much jeff buckley

-

i used to be really passionate i think

or at least felt like i was

isn't it funny how i pick up muses and hold onto them

the way everything was erased

you know,, i still have no idea

you never told me, maybe i didn't ask

what hit you? what made you stop, and shake, and go speechless?

i really

really can't figure it out. like fuck.

YOU!

really..shit

-

i don't think coffee stays warm for long enough

-

oh wow, a little part of my world just collapsed

i've such a soft spot for that sweet justenough girl and look, she's gone and deleted everything!

oh, even her livejournal.

ahhh thats really sad. i think she's quite talented, just beautiful.

-

maybe she'll come back

i guess thats enough for now..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next