i'm pretty sure she's still staying at Kanes, because i saw them walking this morning when dad and i went in town. so, i'll call kane's place (i tried just before..no one was home..hence me coming on line and writing about this) and ask amber if she would like to come over for a night of good conversation. it would be wonderous to chop up with her, perhaps loosen me up a bit (so to speak) but i have no money, and therefore no chop..perhaps she will have some..but i doubt it. but thats alright.. so yes, i invite her over..she accepts. thats my plan. i'm pretty sure that the events that take place on the night won't be what i'm expecting but...we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

i'm quite excited about all of this now. i'm hoping that she won't be too...nice. and please, PLEASE, don't let her do that horribly cliched cupping my head in her hands business. i'm sure she thinks it's all very nice (it is what they do in the movies after all) but really...i despise it. hmmm... is this a mistake? no..i have to remember what i told alex that night at woodford when he was talking about alana..."don't just sit here and tell me how much you want her..go and get her." i need to take my own advice.

hmm since i bought up that night, it's got me thinking about it. reminiscing. it was so very strange to be standing there, on a bridge with him..and he was telling me all about it. all those things that..hmm nevermind. strange night that one..it would've made a beautiful movie. even after our conversation on thebridge (which ended in me shaking my head [tear in my eye], turning around and walking away.) when we were at the waif's..and there's me, dancing away with my eyes closed. when i open my eyes..he's in front of me. our eyes meet. ohhh, how dramatic. it really would've made a beautiful scene. hmm...

"it's all in your hands, and it feels so beautiful."

the chick from lamb really does have the sexiest voice...

i heard yesterday that Beth Gibbons from portishead has released a solo album. interesting... which reminds me..the waif's album came out today. hmm austudy money hurry up and show your face..

dammit...why arent they home. i want to get this invitation over and done with so then i can't chicken out.

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