except of course, herself.

such high standards she sets.

high standards that no one could possibly live up to so she created a woman who was all she wanted and more.

and she loves her, and she despises herself.

someone tell me where's the fucking logic in that.

--

because she's someone special right.

she's got a 'purpose'.

move it to a higher scale.

we've all got a purpose.

--

anti-war protest tomorrow.

i am anti-war and pro-peace.

but why.

what is my 'better alternative'?

i don't have one.

peace is unnatainable. at the moment anyway.

i believe our world still has much to learn. obviously. if we're still starting wars, then we have not yet learnt our lesson.

we still don't have a better alternative.

i don't know if i will go to this demonstarton tomorrow.

if i was that concerned, i would be better informed about this war.

i wuold be reading up on both sides and forming my opinion from there.

but instead, i appear to be doing what the majority of us do. i am aware of this threat, but i''m doing all i can to let it not bother me.

so, why go to an anti war demonstration if i haven't done all of these things.

would this not make me a 'poser'.

i've never been good at presenting an argument, and in this case i can't even say i did my best, because i really can't be bothered. but there you have it.

if i don't go tomorrow, i have my reasons.

whether i'm good at sharing them or not.

--

and isn't that the same with everything.

we all have our reasons.

who are we to question another persons reasons.

--

i'm all over the shop tonight aren't i.

--

i went out last night.

i went to a party.

miss antisocial went to a party.

it'd been somewhere around 6-8 months since i had left my house on a friday night.

and last night, i did it.

and i had a fucking good time to.

not overly brilliant or anything like that.

not even overly fun.

but it was good.

i forgot everything.

i forgot that i'm a nervous, jumpy kind of person who doesn't like talking to people.

i forgot that voice in the back of my mind that is always telling me 'i should be sad right now.'

i forgot everything.

and i had a good time.

--

i have a feeling it may become something of a common occurence.

--

does this signify a 'getting better' of sorts?

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