why am i doing this, you ask?

i've no clue.

perhaps it's a metaphor for as i am cleaning the top of my head, i am cleaning within it.

or perhaps i just got sick of them.

more likely, it's neither.

i think i just needed some form of change..this seemed like a good place to start.

it's strange though..being able to run my fingers through her hair.

i think i kind of like it.

it's beautiful hair..thick, and dark with a slight wave through it at times..even the occasional ringlet, which is odd.

--

enough about that.

--

there was a anti-war protest at my school on thursday.

sounds good doesn't it.

it wasn't.

in fact, it was depressing.

to explain this properly, i'm going to have to go into some background information.

i live in a relatively small town with not too many "alternates" (for want of a better word). in fact, at my school, i am the only 'alternate,' well visible alternate anyway.

so, i have a 'fan club'

a whole brigade of grade 8-10 girls who are constantly running up to me and telling me all sorts of things. they love me, want to be like me blah blah blah.

i find it quite amusing that they put me on such a pedastool. in all reality, i am just like them but in different clothes.

so yes, the fan club.

well they call me "hippie jess," a name which i despise.

in fact, i despise the whole hippie label (strange that i should choose to put the word in my dland username, i know but anyways..)

so i catch word of this protest on thursday.

i get excited.

i tell alex, and we both get excited. we both plan to speak on the matter and all seems well.

we get down there to find about 1-200 people from our school (most of them girls who belong in the 'fan club') with flowers and peace symbols and the like painted all over themselves.

someone brings a megaphone thing down.

alex starts talking about bush and his 'weapons of mass distraction' and the little lip gloss queens and fubu kings begin to boo him.

they booed an informed person who was trying to share his knowledge.

alex walked off.

all at once they began to chant in unison something i found quite disturbing.

"hippie jess! hippie jess!"

so i wlak into the middle of the circle and they all start screaming and clapping.

i hadn't even said anything. this pissed me off. alot.

so i say to them all something alonmg the lines of this:

"i think it's great that so many of us have made the effort to come down here etc. etc., but i really think we should know WHY it is this war is wrong. and i think alex is the perfect person to tell us, so how about we all listen to what he has to say."

alex walks back in, and this is what shocked me more than anything.

they all appeared to shut up and listened to him.

i was later to discover that pretty much none of them had taken in anything he had said, but had just stood there and watched.

after he had finished i told them that they should do this OUTSIDE of school time, if they care that much and that i would see them all at harmony day.

the protest finished with some stoner guy yelling out that we should all smoke weed.

these people do not know why this war is happening. even worse, they do not care to know.

ignorance annoys me, especially when it is as shameless as that.

the next day (yesterday), i get to school and find out that some of the girls had gone marching around town and made the front page of our local news paper. between 1st and 2nd class, i walk into the toiklets to have a smoke and they're all in there, with flowers and peace signs painted on themselves again making a sign on the wall out of mushed up toiket paper that simply says 'peace.'

i go into one of the toilets, have my smoke and listen to them tal;king about how they are the 'peace makers' and 'just like jess now'

i walk out of my toilet and rip down there toilet papr sign and storm out of the toilets.

i then go into the other toilets and kick a door repeatedly, bruising my toes rather badly as a result.

then i go and scream at alex while i'm telling him all about.

i even cried.

i don't know why it pissed me off so much.

actually i probably do but eh, wht are you gonna do right.

i'm just sick of having a 'fan club'.

--

so perhaps thats why i've decided to get rid of my dreads.

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