(darling, stop confusing me)

big red lines of thought

dripping fears and hopes to do with YOU and what you bring

(a place called hate)

i fucking like this feeling

(yeah, keep telling yourself you like this)

alone

feel the hardness in alone

-

i hurt you.

(it felt good)

-

whats it going to make you feel

(stops the sting)

when you're running your hands down my body

we're in that place we're rising up together

hush

stop

whats that

look down

big red marks of self hate

right near where you want to go, right next to that little pink diamond that you take in your teeth to push me over the edge

-

it'll start a conversation i tell myself i don't want to have

something about you librans

so easy to hurt so easy to manipulate so easy to FUCK UP

so tempting

to watch you break

to know it's from me, this beautiful creature

not wanting to breathe anymore not able to feel

(it mustn't get any better)

-

you make me think really bad

dark

pleasurable thoughts

-

you make me want to slice up everything.

(i don't love you.)

-

feel that heat rising in your forehead?

feel that moment in your chest that

!BOOM!

boomboom

-

feel that

piercing

puncturing

wounds

open cuts

(my body)

is disgusting

is too beautiful for you to touch

-

you're never going to grasp me, you don't even know me

a stranger with nice clothes, lots of bracelets and a thought that you're in love with me

(don't even know me)

doesn't matter, you can make me come

(that doesn't make you jesus)

-

bruises

(abuse me more i like it)

can i throw things around rooms can i wreck all your cds, i was really amazed at how

you and your friends are involved in this competition

over who can own the most know the most

musical trivia

it's fucking pointless

-

you're all parading around hiding behind something, beautiful genuine people existing underneath all of us we fuck it up

we're all fucked up

-

(no one cares and no one loves)

-

tonight when i slice your skin

(if i carved your name into my stomach would that make you feel better?)

i won't even wash the blood off

leave it dirty and peeling just for you

(just for you)

-

why did you bother?

-

tonight when i slice my skin

your name on my lips and your smell in my hair

(why won't that fucking go away?)

somethings going to leave me

maybe you're going to leave me

-

maybe you're not going to be able to handle it maybe you'll tell dave and he'll call it disturbing but find it intriguing

(i saw the way you looked at her when she said she had sweet blood)

-

if you're writing fucked up songs about me i'd wish you'd just tell me what it is you're wanting me to do

they give me these smiles like they know something that i don't

getting into my dreams or am i just being paranoid?

(now)

stopstopstop

(now)

-

scaring yourself?

-

making me feel too much you know

so unexpected so totally not unexpected so anticipated

so asked for

the night before you arrived - i reached a low point and i called out for something

no, for someone

the next day there you were

maybe you don't even know what it's for

maybe we're not meant for anything real you just had to show me that they're listening, that i haven't completely lost it and that i am really living for something here

i'm feeling tugs of

(madness)

tugs of

(jumping)

making that big giant leap of faith

or is it

lack of faith

that makes one leap

-

i'm feeling something

dawning

-

this time last year i was excited

i had promised myself a year of sadness madness and spilt blood

(yeah i got it)

along with an unborn murdered baby sex in bushes with boots on awkwardness drugs solitary confinement

((((isolation))))

isolation was easy when i forgot that people could be really amazing

-

i don't really want to be feeling anything nice about you right now

i want to be hating you probably just because you're not here

i feel as though i'm going to use you for awhile and then you'll go

and i'll start saying that i'm sorry, that i love you miss you need you

if i can make you feel as bad as i do

it makes nothing better but it's something to do

-

somehow seems like the easiest option

-

i think i need to talk to ben

i've been

contemplating jesus

(now doesn't that just make it all sound that much more absurd)

sometimes i feel full of love in moments when i think about slaughtered bodies

(look no further)

-

going hunting.

on the prowl

open hearts to tear apart

my love you truly are divine

want to rip everything from you

rape you of your goodness

in my dream your friend told me i'm just like a vampire

sucking all the energy out of your circle and leaving you with nothing but my empty black self hate

-

you all take this lucid dreaming drugs really makes me think that you have the power to play around with my thoughts

there's much more to him than he lets on i feel i would like to get to know him feel like he could make me

hurt

alot

(it would feel great)

ripped

(((shredded)))

scarred skin

unnatural tones

(vibrations)

slices

pieces of me

chunks of my flesh

piece of skull on your bedroom floor

-

i left my red t shirt on the end of your bed

(thought you could organise freedom?)

-

i need to force myself to feel something for you until something better comes along

(you're so incredibly undeserving of all of this)

it seems i'm openly inviting bad karma, you're leaving me right now

i don't really want that

-

i have no idea what the fuck i want

and i have to keep that from you

don't i

because

-

yeah.

-

mark

(lets play dead)

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