and i can't

(go to sleep to dream)

-

wow

bought this fiona apple cd today

and radioheads kid a

money i shouldn't have spent but fuck it

i couldn't really afford the pregnancy test either but you know...necessity

-

so yeah

dark thoughts

bah

-

saturday night

(late saturday night)

soothe all my pressures with a sweet excited voice, a big green heineken hat and people who want to be my friend

-

we've had sex to both the albums i bought today

(has nothing to do with why i bought them.)

-

saying you feel like a replacement

(kind of are)

constant, absolute love

and then you

come along and i can't resist

coz i feel something big

(but i know that there's bigger)

-

talked about sex, told you about my past

multiple sex partners, only ever used protection with you

-

and you'd never done that before and me telling you about it

turned you on

so

we had to

(i love that we both had the same thought of buying $2 condoms from the service station toilets)

-

i really enjoyed talking about sex with you

lying in beks bed

telling me what you like

(like to be 'manhandled'? i wish you'd told me sooner..)

and i really enjoy watching you with dave sometimes

rubbing his back wanting to hug him lie down with him

look at him - everyone wants to fuck you

(so many scorpios around. it explains alot)

-

back to work today

i had to wear a bra for the first time in 10 days

(didn't really enjoy it all that much)

beautiful bible boy ben

masquerading homosexuality

(ohh wow, i love to watch it)

really is a beautiful bible boy.

we have so much fun together, i adore him

-

ohh mark

it's only been 27 hours since i saw you

and it feels like too long, feels like a week

(why is that?)

something in you can soothe me

and it can bring me to this point of complete emotional

chaos

(let your grace enrapture me)

-

think i'm in for a night of non-stonerness and jesus books

fioa apple and radiohead

probably a bit of tori, who are we kidding

thinking about mark and feeling lots of things

wanting and missing

refraining from phone calls because

i don't even know why.

writing, words, thoughts...big thoughts....probably some really pathetic lonely thoughts

i want to get stoned

just over 4 months....

-

i don't want to have to be having 'straight days' now

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next