baby

where do i begin?

----

3 days turns into 5 and we all swim into eachother we all indulge in eachother

it feels like family to me.

----

things couldn't be more beautiful, nothing more to ask for it was perfect and blissful and

we didn't do our planned amazing day

we didn't rise till after 3

everyday

and absinthe

darling

that bottle of absinthe

indulgences everywhere

so much so much So much pot

so much sex......

and beautiful beautiful soul touching sex

we're more joined, more in love than ever before

i got told the stories of

'for 2 months before you two met, he was stalking you'

----

i got

played a song

that you've written

recorded

(for me)

and you showed me

the words

'when i look in your eyes it's easy to see you've got the dying disease

or something like that? i want copies of them

----

and a camp farewell party

and how on earth do you look so fucking sexy when you're too wasted to stand

can hardly stay sitting and you're eating chips and missing your mouth and thre's crumbs on your shirt and you're looking at me saying

'miss jessssicaaaaa'

and whenever you ask what i'm thinking

and i say

'not much'

it takes you back to one night at a service station when i'd said that and you got the better of me and i admitted to thinking about sex with you

and so everytime it's not much

it's not much of anything but sex with you

----

and those 2 little black haired girls..

is she or isn't she

kate? ohh...sakwasa

however you spell that

and i love to see them watch you and see them

licking their lips and thinking about you

and you're looking at them and you're wasted

(excess)

and all i can do is smile

smile because it's beautiful to watch them want you and

you want me

---

in that black shirt and those glasses...ohhhh baby

we are rockstars aren't we

-

and you sung the hari krishna chant to me in bed and we giggled..for hours..like little kids who were having sex (???)

and on my required (much deserved) cigarette break, i'm sitting on top of you so from my angle..it looks like i'm the one with the penis and you get me excited about something or you get me laughing and

i drop my cigarette

on you and it burns

(baby i'm sorry)

but wow

it was hilarious

but i got in trouble for laughing

----

and the music

that he'd play for us when he must've known we were making us

and he sings these lines

and you know and i know

that the whole fucking house knows

that...

well yeah

----

and bek

miss beautiful wondrful glorious bek

there was definately a void those 4 hours that you weren't there

'i missed you guys...so much'

----

and the big invitation

or rather invitations because thre were many

from all of you

'you should move in here'

i would in an instant

i would this weekend

go back with you all

make a home

even if it does end in disaster

it could be

so

much

fun.

----

(theres too much, theres so much to say in here right now)

and you cook me dinner and breakfast and make me coffee and take me to the shower

and we break eachothers hearts

as always but only once

this time.

----

and on the drive down three, i'm so close to you

half an hour to go and my phone it starts ringing

and it's benny

concrete junglist

'how the fuck are you'

over 6 months since i'd heard your voice and you sound like a wasted wasted old man

whats happened to you?

it was a strange conversation full of

'what are you doing?!'s

it was nice

i liked it

but i was on my way to see mark and he was the one on my mind

and i told him

i'm honest with him always

almost

always

----

mark i've never had sex with anyone like that.

you said it and wow...it's so true

'thats the best sex, i have ever had, with anyone, in my whole life'

ohhhhh

and it is.

----

there's so much

this will all have to wait

i'm lacking the ahhh

eloquence

to do it justice perhaps

-

lets just say

i think i may be moving to brisbane.

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