(as dolls go, i am broken)

-

so what the hell is this?

-

on and on and on it goes..why are we carrying on like this still?

i went to sleep thinking it was all

ok.

(this has been just sitting since 1:50..it's 2:22)

-

don't make it a big deal, don't be so sensitive

no idea

no fucking idea.

-

went to sleep thinking it was all

ok

and then

i float through my day because i'm not.all.there

and then you come

and i'm there and you're quiet and moody and offended!

holy fucking jesus again...by a joke

-

and i don't get it because i have ideas of

beautiful things

(he's going to show me a song..wonder if it will hurt)

-

i don't know what to do.

is it going to end soon?

i want to listen to elbow.

-

you should all go out and listen to elbow

-

bek

we're going to byron bay for the fourth of may when the worlds going to end

or at least

start to

-

hmmm bek

the building...shit bek

shit

-

and you feel bad

because you said

lets throw jess in here

-

you feel bad.

im the one who's offensive

-

Urgency

we speak of urgency

-

(an empty shell of me)

me?

what the fuck..?

-

he says he sees a scared innocent little girl

my sister ays i'm fragile

i've no fucking idea

don;t really know if i see either of those things

i see fucked up

-

and he says

'a tragity waiting to happen

you are all that i see when i look in the mirror

a tragity waiting to happen

as lost as the keys which i could've swore i once had'

and it doesn't hurt

or rather it does, but not in the way i anticipated

(and fionas right...it's a cruel thing to pretend, and a cunning way to condescend)

and it's beautiful because of the way

he spells

tragedy

and it's beautiful because

(dangerous)

reluctant.

-

and it seems i fuck up everytime.

or

it's made out as though

i

fuck up

everytime.

-

one of the two..what does it matter

-

it's now 3:20

and it still goes on...

a hole heap of nothingness

i am nothingness

empty

-

i don't know where i'm going with anything

anything at all

i know that it's starting to get colder

winter

death is looming like winter

and the cold always brings with it a distinct mood

somethings going to happen.

nothings going to last.

-

things will change

big shift

i don't understand how to be friends with him and i don't understand what benny's about

-

jon has a girlfriend

i saw him today

sarah maybe her name is?

sasha?

no idea..kind of rude of me isn't it

don't care

-

desperate

he called me desperate.

i was glad

nice to be acknowledged.

-

worried because

just shut up.

-

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