i'm not at work today.

just couldn't be fucked really.

-

last night i dreamt it.

that line.

we were in love again

hmm

-

it's all pretty pathetic really

pretty

and

pathetic.

can't believe myself

(must be someone else)

-

cleaned out my cupboards without even thinking about it

sorted through so much shit

organise organise organise

underwear and scarves

t shirts

long sleeves

folded pants

and the section at the top

for skirts

(they wouldn't fit in a drawer.)

i even hung some more stuff up

put tapes in cases and even begn the epic task of labelling them all

thought about counting

but didn't.

cds in cases and cases on the rack

vacuum

not even noticing.

-

and tears!

woke up with tears

oh because the power went out you know

and i listened to catpower on my discman and i just couldn't help it

it was nice though

i was over it as quickly as i was

in it

-

i found some lost things.

i keep the most stupidest things you know.

all these receipts

just to keep track of dates

the 4th of february

broken day.

cat food and mount franklin water

how out of the ordinary.

he had plans to leave in the middle of the night and i was asking if i could share

the night

oh just shut up

-

and all the excitement

from just the other day

i haven't spoken to her

-

so distracted.

i'm sorry.

-

my dreams were beautiful

i'm convinced i would've had

a smile

on my sleeping face

i felt smiles in my body

i felt head in my lap

and there was some moment when i was reading him something

phone in hand?

and he told me to stop and made some pretty speech

about when we were in love and how some things hurt and

oh fuck

i can't remember

but it was maybe like

we did the make believe thing

it was great.

makes me think of dave and i having a conversation

about lucid dreams

'dreams are just wish fulfillments'

-

and it's in the temporary

isn't it.

oh i know what you mean by temporary

already cracked

rose coloured glasses

baby girl i fucking miss you like you would not believe.

I MISS HER!!!!!!

more than him even

different kind of miss i guess

-

i just got invited to a party on the 24th of july

DON'T THINK SO!!!

-

i'm going to go see pete murray at splendour.

probably by myself.

i bet you i'll cry.

it will be my reflective moment

to look at the weekend and all thats been happening

and i'll cry.

ohh boohoo.

-

hmm sorry

keep the vomit coming.

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