sad maybe

but

undeniable

that i get funny little rushes of pleasure

satisfaction even

if i were t be totally honest

when i'm at work serving a customer and i see their eyes

rolling over my wrists

sccared expressions

sad intimidated

disgusted

incredibly uncomfortable

i get some strange tinge of anger maybe

hate

and it makes me so happy

to see those puzzled out of place expressions

-

i write erotica between customers

hello, how are you today?

you should remember these things when you're shopping

that register girl could be thinking Anything

-

and concrete junglist had me squirming in my seat and biting down Hard on fingers last night

green text

my what fine

green text

upright position?

fingers dug in, watching reactions

oh yes Please.

-

i believe i'm too self centered to deal with death

my cat is possibly the most affectionate being i've ever encountered

so sensual you know

hmmm such a lady

-

she gets lots of kisses.

-

i have the words

hold yourself

coz no one will

floating around in my head

not even floating

kind of pounding

-

wednesday

yes he's here

hven't seen him

not sure when i will

could go so many ways really

could not even happen

i think it's

well

i could go either way

with the whole thing

undecided i'll have to assess

the territory

and then make decisions to act on

-

i got angry at a girl at work last week

now i have to call and ask if she'll give me a lift

hmm

i should apologise maybe

i told her she

fuckasses around too much

fuckasses?

what the hell is that?

but yes

i showed some authority

eve though she's older than me and i have no real authority over her

except she's behind a register and i have a whole service desk to dance around in

i'm sure she bitched about me

on the way home

i don't care.

she does fuck ass around

pisses me off.

-

i don't know what he's doing

i don't know if i should expect him or not

don't know don't know

benny

benny benny

less than 2 months

something like what...53 days? ohh my

oh

my.

you're going to make my head explode

and i can't wait.

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