my words

i'd eat them like a starving woman

scrambling across the floor grabbing up every last crumb

bad words.

-

just all round lost

all round a dirty lots little girl

scraped knees and ankles

bleeding soles

-

ahh.

i'm closed eyes in front of the ttv

i'm sitting in a ball in the shower thinking bleedbleedbleed but don't

water

running like rain or tears hot

or cold

extremes

so hot it burns

so cold i shake

this isn't me.

-

swollen belly

like a pregnant woman, like a sick child

sinful satisfaction

this is not me.

-

buried

in things.

words

ms plath.

vanilla sky.

penelope cruz

towards the end

the last scene on top of that building

the very sight of her just makes me

cry

-

i like it.

-

sleep

what is sleep these days, sleep is so empty

no hope for dreams no more

theatre.

just a fall

into nothing to mark the passing of days

truth is i've never seen myself like this before.

-

this is not me.

-

the blatant stink

of my blank stare and

cracked lips

-

i really have no idea

i just looked at the date

2004-06-06

it says

hmm 2+4=...

not that i really

think much of that number

but there you go

what a

something.

-

look what you're doing to me.

who?

-

so to blame.

eat it all up.

can you believe i'm really this much of a bitch?

how sick did you feel

?

-

lets go to new york in winter.

their winter.

-

eleven minutes.

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