-

she says crucify

she makes love with worlds that we can't see and she's

a hand between her legs in the Climax of Precious Things

(well one of them)

she's crazy eyes

she's turned off microphones (pg ratings) and screaming

like god i was mortified to think that maybe there would be nothing

that this amazing professional widow

slag pit/stag shit

wouldn't end with peace

love

and a Harrd Caaaaawwwooock.

but she screamed it out.

(screamed is so the wrong word. sorry)

she's

aahhh

she's just a piece of heaven i think. for my ears and now my eyes, to my whole mind..she just

hits

ms amos

and all her girls

i owe you a corvette.

-

that aside i got a haircut today.

and umm

can never get a lip piercing of any dedscription

apparantly i have too many

veins

in my lips.

fill up with blood she says

intense swelliing

things that make my heart Stretch and Hurt.

ouch. kind of hurt.

-

lots of pretty things

an almost perfect day..

one might say.

hmm

broken gargoyles.

guilt, daatura on shelves next week

job offer

oh is it something unique

dream flashbacks of disaster and employment in that shop.

this big mirror behind the counter, the lady - Leanne. she looked at me through it, had her back to me and my eyes fell on her and

hmm looking at me

questions and wary glances

i'm really quite heartbroken about this vein business.

it just

shattered

all these little..

9 year old primrary school fantasies.

a girl called alana with a shaved head and maybe a scary tongue ring in the spice girls? can't remember properly.

but

veins

-

i sat up

all mouthwashed and ink dotted

to pull out my lip and just look

at bursting blue lines all over purple

mushy slimy

flesh

mde my stomach flip

felt so

good.

-

and the sound...the bzzzzzzzzzbzzzzbzzzzzzzzz

of a tattoo gun

ahh what a tease!

-

maybe someone out there has noticed that somewher i've become totally

insert word that beautifully describes what i've done/become

about

my little

bubble.

oh my bubbble.

is all mixed colours

oil

dark

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shiny, reflective, deceptive - full of bullshit

layer upon layer

(despite all my rage)

what is lost can never be saved?

-

heard His voice today and i wasn't expecting it.

i like (ha) the way we didn't recognise eachothers voices as having actual people attached to them.

hmm

i didn't call to talk to you.

i didn't want

to talk to you.

-

smoked in front of my mum.

god i said some harsh things

not to her, not today

oh, i know when

what i'm talking about

fuck i'm sorry.

ah but so the someone who maybe sees and understands (that word..doofus.) the beautiful word

will grab me and shake me

knock me out even

i

don't know. do something.

stupid irrational thoughts like 'they'll be sorry when i'm dead!'

they'll be sorry at my funeral

and feeling like telling cetain people

not to come

and others where to sit

hmm

i want datura

on my

coffin.

(this could be any time. this could be just a silly little phase and i'll live to be 102..probably not though, i've got a pretty bad smoking habit. but yes, even then>>>datura!)

and i want

well i don't know

but i'm going to figure it out.

-

i want a fucking water feature

i want to be buried

not in a cemetary

but

somewhere...

i don't know where yet. i'll find it.

hang yourself in a rainforest up north somewhere

hmm

i'll find it

-

hmm vintage skirts.

haircut? oh yeah i mentioned that

nothing drastic

to be honest i have doubts as to whether or not it actually happened

if it wasn't for the $70 of hair care products i'd

be really fucking confused.

-

ahh your voice i

mmm.

-

wow.

it was 2:02

2:25..

-

another sorry.

you know

that i just don't.

-

i'm

worried about the scared animal

(caught in headlights)

look in my eyes.

i don't think this is really a recent thing

i think it's just getting worse.

-

maybe i won't go to splendour.

-

...................

maybe.

apparantly love is suicide.

-

i'm....

all mixed up inside.

i don't know who anybody is.

but i know tori.

and i think maybe me and billy have made love before

oh

and one more

she gives the finger to never gaining weight.

-

triple dvd day planned and i say

it's about time we watched reality bites

and i just fucking love you.

i'm going to buy some wool.

apricot

sorry for being so blatant

the fucking...the love

-

all the sorry's

how many times have you

oh who cares

just shut up and listen.

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