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things that have come to somehow define me..

overflowing ashtrays, remnants of cigarettes scattered everywhere

mess, clutter, useless randomly collected junk, a story to go with everything

cd's and tapes everywhere, listen to this song listen to this song

books.

full of my own handwriting, that don't say A THING.

not a thing.

blood on pages and tissues and bedsheets and things.

a mirror. 2 of them even.

a 10 disc stereo with random function

tori amos.

-

clothes. messy hair. never quite right.

strange eyes, facial features

disgusting creature.

most beautiful woman.

passionate. empty.

lustful, longing, Love, lonely

-

aimlessness

ambivalence, pointless complexity, morbid curiousity

self indulgence

hedonist.

-

search for beauty

shades of truths

words words words

line and curve formations, random meanderings, drifting...

-

funny little memories - dejavu

dreams.

(boats, in control, little girl voice)

sex sells.

lie upon lie upon lie

becoming oblivious

running.

hiding.

inappropriate laughter.

freaking out

-

obsession.

-

different.

hypocrite

(perhaps surprisingly) passive

doormat

easily disposed of

given up on

-

eyes closed.

eyes too open.

-

from black to white in 10 seconds.

-

scared. brave. strong.

weak.

(contradiction!)

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perhaps i could use this as a resume.

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little text messages, beautiful girl i wish i could've been there. i should've been there.

(fresh off the Boat, from virgina..)

who's got a year in new york city under their belt?

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