-----------------

well thats just how it happens really isnt it

the days you worry about turn out to be lover-ly.

-----------------

and it was..all an extra shift, sympathy smiles (fuck off), nice smiles..happy to be scanning peoples discount goods again. some lovely people.

and a date! a boy asked me on a date

i said yes and gave him my phonenumber.

i'm not that interested (at all) but he comes in alot and seems very nice

and really...like i've been saying, i need to get a life.

amandas going to come with me. because she's my dollface.

i'm all cheery and chipper today.

i was yesterday as well.

you know i think it may have something to do with our love

concrete junglist

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it seemed impossible to me that he should want to come back

to our funny little thing aftter the weekend, and all the shit last week

not a chance he says

says my hello how are you's are like poetry to him, now how can that not make you smile

it's arousing he says...

--------------------

you.

my dear. my beautiful girl. i wish i had words of comfort, words of advice even.

doubt.

i don't know, i'll talk to you soon.

--------------------

and i want to wrap miss bek up in all the cotton wool, all the silk

i think i saw her pia yesterday

and the friend...now, who is the friend?

i see her alot.

all black curls and white skin.

--------------------

as of yesterday i look amazing. surprising i know.

batman shirts and all.

yes, something has me dancing and smiling at nothing.

transient..temporary

up and down up and down...

----------------------

but still

i had a quick flash of him in my dream last night.

not the smiling him...the other..mascara wearing beautiful (past tense) him

just a flash...sitting right in front of me, your head on a table and someone standing in a door wayd, asking me out on a date

maybe next week i say

and your head sinks

i've somethings to take care of first.

and your eyes are as sad as when i had your keys in my hand. and i was killing off everything we had.

shut up.

anyway that was that. i got to see you. and you are so beautiful it...it makes my whole insides just..flip flop

your lips.

but...nothing.

there is nothing.

and it's ok.

-

anchormans voice...

i wish i could remember the name of the boy who invited me to his sisters party.

sharn? shaun? shay? i don't know...80's man.

cigarette. what a boring diary entry.

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