i have this date tonight and it makes me nervous because i don't know anything about this person and am not all that interested but i should be doing things like this because

i don't know anything about this person.

and going places and being around new people aand diving headfirst into unfamiliar situations is Good for you. me.

---

i don't know what to wear. clothes really irritate me. i have so many of them but don't really like much of what i have or they just don't look good on me.

i've no idea what looks good on me.

jeans or skirt..jeans or skirt...amanda!!

---

his name is shem and i know his little brother (whose name is rainbow) and one of his sisters (jasmine.."christian" girl) and another one of his sisters

perhaps the one who's engaged.

made nice conversation and even nicer smiles with me one day at work

---

anyway

i woke up and got yelled at clean up your own messes they say

why? i clean up all of theirs.

fuckheads. ouch.

but swear words at 9am aren't nice. angry tones, i love my father.

hahahaha

i threw books at the wall.

---

mm ups and downs

my sister may be moving from sydney.

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i really despise slammed doors and when people do things louder than they have to. it always makes me paranoid that they're angry, and more than likely theey are. what a waste of fucking energy.

---

benny's so lovely. he really is. he just really really is.

lovely like warm.

lovely like sometimes i worry about you dear..

mm lovely like i want hugs.

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